To fear or not to fear

Life is patience ... however fast it goes whether you realize it or not, you are forever patient, always waiting for something . Some inanely precious object always beyond your grasp , no matter how many times you get it , it manifests and you desire.

I wondered how a new year changes you, not just what you decide for yourself , your resolutions, ambitions etc . I wondered what changes in you when the clock strikes 12. In that transition from the last second of the year to the next, albeit a new one, what changes ?

I went inward to find out what changed in me. I fear less, which by no means is something great. The list of what I fear is quite long and quite tedious in its details, but I fear less.

Here is what I crossed off my fear list the minute, the second I entered the new year:

1) I don't care for the mayan calendar

2) I am going to watch my weight .. while I eat ... that's it ..just watch it and not control it.

3) I will not lose you. Yes you.

4) I will not fear hate, it exists.

5) Death is going to come my way but arthritis is going to get here sooner , I do not fear the former as much as the later, which incidentally is scaring me shit-less.

6) I will not be scared of someone else's success, after all it is not my failure.

7) I will not constantly fear the future .

8) I will not be startled by my shadow when I walk alone in the city

9) I will stop fearing the egg drop soup in the chinese take out below my house... as much as I detest a sick stomach, the soup is unlike any other.

I think 9 is a good number of things to stop fearing.

- MM